A quick one on queer
Labels. They’re so important.
But what if we only need one?
I vote for queer. Where queer means, ‘I deviate from what conservative politicians would like me to be.’ Ish. Kinda.
In this sense, I’m sexuality-queer (not attracted solely to people of the opposite gender, my spectrum of attraction is more fluid than that and has more to do with the last book they read than what’s between their legs), relationship-queer (monogamy ain’t my thing, I believe that relationships should be flexible and individual, and allowed their own space to develop and change) and kink-queer (vanilla is not the only flavour, and one shouldn’t feel locked into a certain way of doing sex or being sexual forever). I’m not, but people can also be gender-queer (their gender doesn’t naturally fit into cismale or cisfemale, and they need the flexibility to move from one to the other, or perhaps swim around in the middle).
Do you notice the common thread?
Flexibility. Fluidity. The ability to change.
The standard structures we have been given by society are rigid and do not work for everyone. Perhaps they don’t even work for anyone.
I want more freedom than that. The ability to define my own life. My own identity. My own loves and how I love them.
I think that means I’m queer.